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Fix Your Dating Profile & Get the Connection You Want! Part 1: Why Should I Use Online Dating Apps?

July 07, 2020

Are you new to online dating? Scared to even start? Or are you already using dating apps, but you're frustrated because you're not getting the connections you want? Don't worry, I'm here to help you!

Raise your hand if you've had any of these thoughts:

Why do I have to go online, can't I just meet someone in person?
What happened to the good old fashioned way of doing things?
I don't like online dating, everyone there is fake.
I've have terrible luck with online dating, nobody will message me back, or if they do, they eventually flake or ghost.
I'm too old for online dating.

I get it. Online dating can be super frustrating. I first started online dating in 2004, when it was relatively new, and people would make up stories, like "we met in a cooking class," rather than admit they had met online. It seemed that having to go to the effort of meeting someone online was tantamount to admitting that you were unlucky and/or unlovable. In addition to the stigma, it was also quite exhausting to put myself out there, to have to show up and be vulnerable with strangers.

I have used online dating apps off and on since then, and while I do have some bizarre stories, I have also met some great people, and had long term relationships with partners who I would never have met otherwise.

You can now take advantage of the widespread acceptance of online dating without having to go to the trouble of learning how to make Béchamel Sauce in order to support your fictional meet/cute story. (Said sauce is delicious, so you might want to learn how to make it in any case.)

Online dating apps are a really great tool that you can use to your advantage to find people who share your interests. You can definitely meet real people who are also looking for a genuine connection. It doesn't matter how old you are, or how long it has been since you were last single. Online dating can work for anyone.

And just in case you're still having some doubts, there is no shame in online dating, and using this tool is not a reflection of how lovable you are as a person. You don't need to put any justifications in your profile such as: "Just here checking this out," "New to this whole online dating thing," or "My friends said I should check this out." Everyone else on there is doing the same thing, so you can just relax.

Okay, now that we've covered why you should be taking advantage of online dating apps, the next step is, what app should you use? Stay tuned for the next installment:

Fix Your Dating Profile & Get the Connection You Want! Part 2: What Dating App Should I Use?

If you'd like some support around creating or updating your dating profile, or unpacking any of the emotions that come up when you even contemplate doing this, check out the Dating Profile Tune Up, or find out more about me on my coaching page.

Tanya Madoff is an artist, a maker and a coach. She is currently offering a free copy of 8 TIPS TO FEEL MORE CALM CONNECTED & INSPIRED to anyone who signs up for her newsletter. SIGN UP HERE to get your free copy.

Photo of couple by Gift Habeshaw.

Also in Blog

Fix Your Dating Profile & Get the Connection You Want! PART 5: How Do I Fill Out the Prompt Sections of My Online Dating Profile?

September 03, 2020

Use dating app prompts that inspire positive answers, and avoid any complaining or bragging. Your answers should give some insight into your personality and offer an invitation to the person reading so they will want to ask more. Read more to find out which prompts will best enhance your profile and which ones to avoid!

Fix Your Dating Profile & Get the Connection You Want! PART 4: How Do I Fill Out the About Me Section of My Online Dating Profile?

August 11, 2020

This area should contain a few sentences about what makes you unique. Be specific about what you like and what you’re looking for. It's the first section someone will see after your main profile picture – make it count! Focus on specifics and you’ll be able to attract someone who finds you unique and interesting. There are certain things that resonate with you, and qualities in a person that feel good to you in a relationship. Mention those things. The goal is to get people who are potential matches to start talking to you, not to get hundreds of messages from partial matches. Your ego might enjoy the attention of multiple messages, but ultimately it will be a waste of your time.

Fix Your Dating Profile & Get the Connection You Want! PART 3: How Do I Fill Out the Stats and Preferences Sections of My Online Dating Profile?

July 27, 2020

There are a few different sections to most dating profiles, and today we're going to cover stats and preferences, specifically your age, your height, your current relationship status, and what you’re looking for. I'm focusing on these areas because this is where I see the most confusion, especially for single men, but the advice can apply to anyone, and the guidelines are for every part of your profile.