Blognipotent and Other Words I Made Up

August 15, 2009

I resisted the blog for as long as I could. But since I'm joining the ranks, I thought I may as well do so with style. Not only have I been given license to share my innermost (and fascinating) musings on life, but now I can also make stuff up. Of course, I wouldn't do that to you, my dear reader. Everything you read here is true. Mostly.

So here, for your enjoyment, allow me to share my definitions for blognipotent and other words I made up.

blognipotence

Function: noun

1 : the quality or state of being blognipotent, the feeling one gets from reading another's blog and then thinking that you know everything about them (and sometimes about everyone else too) 2 : an agency or force of unlimited power that results from reading a blog

blognipotently adverb
blognipotent adjective

blogtasy

Function: noun

1 : a creation of the imaginative faculty brought on by reading another's blog, often involving you meeting a blog author where you casually mention your extensive knowledge of (insert appropriate topic here), all the while admitting no previous knowledge of them or their favorite topic, thus making them fall madly in love/lust/admiration with/for you

2 : a chimerical or blogtastic notion

blogker

Function: noun

one who peruses another's blog obsessively, including memorizing obscure references and hints in the hopes of determining the author's exact location (What was that? Did he mention the goat cheese pizza special? I think I know what restaurant he's talking about! I must go there now.)

blogking verb

Editor's note: Try to stay away from this tendency, because while wearing adult diapers so one can drive 30 hours in hot pursuit may seem like a good idea at the time, it's actually a real turn off.

flog a blog

Function: verb

The act of talking about a blog so incessantly and/or including mindless (and dull) minutiae, to the point that the listener/reader can actually feel redness and chaffing

blog freeze

Function: noun

a sudden shooting pain in the head caused by ingesting too much blog (like a brain freeze)

Editor's note: Should you become enervated by blog freeze, step away from the computer and attempt to interact with the three dimensional people. Yes, they can be scary, but you can do it.

Also in Blog